I am both astonished and saddened by how at a young age, we learn to suppress our giftings, talents, personalities, passions to fit in, gain approval/acceptance, or avoid punishment by those who do not understand or appreciate, what I call, our “treasure.”
This morning, a memory surfaced of a conscious decision I made at eight years old to bury my treasure, even though at that point I had no clue what I was suppressing had value. I was already keenly aware that being biracial with light-colored skin and long “good” hair was NOT a good thing; and neither was excelling in school. Somehow some of my peers concluded the combination of both automatically meant I thought I was better than anyone else. If they only knew.
My teacher announced our class would be performing the play “The Wizard of Oz.” She provided a list of the roles available and explained there would be auditions if more than one student wanted a part. I knew right away I wanted to try out for Dorothy—not because I yearned to be the center of attention or because I thought I was worthy of such an outstanding role. The Wizard of Oz was, and still is, one of my favorite movies, and I just loved everything about Dorothy. As my excitement grew, I noticed a group of girls huddled on the other side of the classroom were side-eyeing me and smirking. I heard one of them say, I bet Lydia tries out for Dorothy.
Immediately, I could sense the excitement drain from the top of my head until the last drops escaped from my toes. I wanted to cry. I knew at that moment I would not audition for Dorothy because I did not want to deal with the backlash. In fact, I took a part that only had one line, that of the mayor. No audition was necessary because no one else wanted that role. The mayor’s one line is still part of my memory today.
I remember spending most of the play sitting on the floor watching. Yes, just watching and grieving a lost opportunity to do something I really wanted because of what other kids might think.
While the decision not to audition for Dorothy was a conscious decision, the classroom scenario and others like it eventually formed a false belief that it was best for me to stay in the background. Once that false belief embedded itself in my subconscious, many other opportunities to participate, speak up, enjoy relationships, or let my little light shine were lost without any conscious contemplation. It became automatic.
Thankfully though, God did not allow some opportunities to be lost. There were times I was able to press past that false belief and into positions of leadership, all the while battling self-doubt, low self-esteem, and fear. There were also times when other people would call me out to lead because they were somehow able to discern my buried treasure. Lastly, there were those times when situations around me inadvertently crossed into the realm of my passion. My voice was clear and loud then! I am my mother’s daughter for sure lol!
Longer story shorter, the false belief was uprooted when I understood the things people and I hated me for were the very treasures God had entrusted to me for His purpose. I discovered my gifts, talents, and personality type and how they work with my passion to fulfill His plan for my life. I learned how people feel or think about the treasure God put in me is their issue, not mine. Life was much easier to navigate when I recognized my self-perception and how I am designed impacts how I make decisions and relate to the world around me. I am thankful for the freedom to experience the contentment and fulfillment of boldly walking in my true identity and purpose.
I share this because I know there are countless others who possess subconscious false beliefs about themselves and their situations that keep them shackled in chaos or stuck in relationships (or no relationships), jobs, spiritual conditions, cities, homes, etc. where they do not want to be. Well, I am all about helping you get unstuck from stagnation and chaos and moving toward living your best life.
If this speaks to your heart, then maybe I am the coach for you. Although I am Christian, I do not force my beliefs on anyone. My goal as a coach is to help transform your thinking, obliterate obstacles, develop a vision for your future and a plan for fulfilling it in whatever area needed.
Schedule a free discovery call with me so we can determine if we would make a good team.
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